Stupid Visual Studio somehow reset my options today, causing great havoc and not allowing me to build. It'd be nice if it gave me some kind of warning because I forget how to fix it in between the times that it goes through this bug. To fix it, I changed my HTML Validation. Choose Tools -> Options -> Text Editor -> HTML -> Validation, and change the Target to Internet Explorer 6.0
Stupid Visual Studio.
She can turn a stack of blank CDs into a cake with her imagination. She invents words, like paGULPat (it's an invented Russian word) based on the sound of what she wants to do. She likes to wear band-aids but not when she has an owie. She loves to pose with one leg stuck out like a ballerina. She absolutely loves to have bows in her hair and fusses when we take them out. She hates to sleep under a blanket and will kick one off in moments.
This past weekend really just flew right by. We had some house guests from Canada whom we haven't seen since before the daughter was born. They also have a little girl of almost exactly the same age as ours. Thus, besides the standard bickering to be expected of toddlers, the little girls had a wonderful time playing together.
The family has changed a little bit since we last saw them; the wife speaks much better English as a result of working every day with English-speaking customers at a salon, and the son has definitely made improvements for the better. I recall that he used to seem a spoiled little brat, but now he's polite and sensible. Bravo to the change. I suspect it's probably the presence of his sister that has really turned him into such a nice young man; sibling rivalry, despite the age difference in this particular pair and despite the inevitable conflicts that will always arise, has a tendency to refine one's character for the better.
We went swimming more times than even our usual, which is to be expected when there are two toddlers present. I always hate the preparation for going to the pool, but I always feel good for having gone swimming so I have to thank the little ones. My daughter is still extremely STUCK on the Got-Your-Nose game, and now she's inventing all sorts of things to do with the stolen nose besides just eating it. Apparently the key to the fun is just to get papa to (playfully) say NO! She can spend the entire time we swim doing this.
The younger brother and his wife took us out to see a sneak preview of Stardust last Thursday, having won some tickets from the major radio station in town. Apparently the time to win such call-in contests is at 2AM while you're canning vegetables.
I knew absolutely nothing about the movie, and I have to say that I wish I could watch more movies under such circumstances but with the invasiveness of today's media, that's right near impossible.
It was an awesome and hilarious surprise, as long as you count out the gay pirate. (A political disclaimer: I find nothing funny about homosexuals, considering what it is that defines them as such, and believe that comedy can be had equally or more funny while less uncomfortable without such characters written into the story. I'm not on a witch-hunt, mind you, but I cannot write a review of this movie without the very least of saying my opinion.) While slightly predictable in that you're sure the lead characters will hook up in the end, it was endowed with such a drive and surrounded with a self-aware humor that one couldn't help but laugh.
The attention to detail really struck me, too. You can tell that they really spent time to polish this one up. :)
Hasn't been much progress in the UT2004 development (SeaPack, LawDogs, etc) this weekend because I was distracted with other things. A friend of mine was in Target the other day and found two Wiis on the shelf, so knowing that I wanted one he picked it up and I paid him back. I've got some other friends from whom I can borrow a couple of choice titles, and then there's the 1-per-month free coupon from Blockbuster that I can use for a game rental. So, things are lined up for some Nintendo fun for a while here.
I actually want to use it to try out the Wii Workout concept. I love the idea of exercising with game machines. I'll start - tonight - posting results to the blog under the Wiicize: category.
Another thing that's distracting me is the Tactical Ops (Tacops) 2.20 map I'm working on. See, we play that version of TacOps while at work because it's the only game we have that both Macs and PCs can use (there's an additional limitation of some PCs not being good-enough quality to run more modern games). This is just fine by me; I love the UT99 engine *and* I've got a few maps already created for it that never really got enough gameplay. And, since we're playing it all together, the guys at the office have demanded someone - either Gigglepuss or myself - create our current office in-game for us to shoot up. I've already got about 2/5 of the intended layout created, and about half of that is nicely decorated. It'll take me another week or so to finish it up, and I might try to convert some of my other maps to Tacops (since it's really so EASY), but after that the distraction will be gone and it's back to the SeaPack.
Wow. You miss their "window of tiredness" by even a few minutes and bedtime goes from minor complaints to screaming fits. We put the daughter to bed at 9pm on Saturday night and 8pm on Sunday - Saturday she screamed the whole while I brushed her teeth, and on Sunday she complained for a moment but then was fully ready to jump in her PJ's and listen to the princess story about her.
She also insists on listening to her brother's heartbeat every night on the microphone-headset system that we have. It's still pretty hard to hear the heartbeat because it IS just a public/commercial- quality headset (as opposed to medical-quality). But it's nice to have. She asks what her brother is doing almost every night when she goes to sleep and I tell her that he's probably brushing his teeth, too. :)
On another topic, the daughter is in one of those stages where, if she gets her clothes even the slightest bit dirty or wet, she needs to make an entire wardrobe change. What's with that? Her cousin does it, too. Is this a characteristic of all toddlers? A phase they all go through? Strange.
Just something I whipped up... I like it much better than the half-job I did for SterlingSea
These are some of the things I need to complete before I can release another SeaPack version:
Did I mention this, yet? I love it when my daughter (apparently echoing me) replies to a question or statement with her little almost-screech-like "Whaaat?!" And she does it about three times in a row. It's more exaggerated than I ever did it, so it makes me laugh or smile every single time.
She is the most imaginative little girl, too - every single playground comes complete with some kind of vehicle - boat, car, whatever - with which we use to drive somewhere - usually to California. Now she's telling us to "buckle up!" every time we get in the "car" and she turns on the "radio" as we're driving. Oh, and there's also a fully-stocked kitchen in every playground, too, and our little girl is a master chef, cooking everything from spaghetti and hot dogs to borscht.
Most of the work I put in last night on the SeaBass was to iron out the UV map on the main hull. I didn't actually get around to painting much on it, except for some stripes and a couple of engine-type decals, but the main hull is nicely mapped out, now! I'm experiencing some ISSUES with it actually in the game. I took the previous photos while a bot was in the sub, and I thought it wasn't moving just because the bot wasn't moving it, but apparently it doesn't move AT ALL.
Also, when I import the animations into UnrealEd, I'm finding a weird "won't save" bug that I think is caused by the fact that I have my UT2004 synched through FolderShare between a couple of computers. Apparently, and I've found this happens with the user.ini file when change play preferences as well, the last-updated date doesn't change when UT2004 edits the INI file - or in the case of UnrealEd, the UKX file. So, it saves an empty UKX file pretty much all the time. I'm as of yet not phased by this because I really think it is just FolderShare screwing with me. I'll just turn it off, next time.
Once I can actually import the skeleton properly - so that it matches the Shortfin, which I'm subclassing, then I think things'll start working correctly.
Here's the cute saying of the moment. My daughter has adopted a phrase from her book about Arthur teaching his sister, DW, to read (or, learning that she can already read). Now, when you say most anything to her, she replies with, "Prove it!" Even more endearingly, when I reply to her, "No, you prove it," she changes her instructive-tone into a nice, friendly response, "Okay, I'll prove it to you." Books are good.
Here are some early screenshots of ONS-DeepSix (working title), including the first ridiculous in-game photos of the SeaBass (yes, it is ill-tempered ;)
So, another one of the things I'm working on is expanding the UTNavy (aka UT2004Navy, UT2006Navy, wbNavy). I've got a map in progress that is really exciting; it's tenatively titled ONS-SEA-DeepSix and is an all-submarine Onslaught map that takes place in amongst giant underwater caverns. It's been built off of ONS-Ascendancy - I won't try to hide that and it will probably retain the same node layout, although perhaps with different linkups. However, it already looks significantly different. I've got permission to use resources from AS-Abyss-Lite and CTF-CBP2-Deep, which are excellent underwater maps by SpoonDog, so the theme should pull off quite easily.
Another way I'm looking to expand the SeaPack is by creating at least one all-new submarine! Check it out; here are some WIP photos for you. I haven't decided yet on its stats like health, speed, damage, etc. but I am sure of what I want it to do. It'll seat two and have a primary, forward facing turret for the passenger to shoot - probably some kind of charged harpoon-style weapon.
The driver will have control over the rear-launching URCHiN mine launcher (Underwater Robotic Complex-Homing Nuclear). I'm going to base these off of the spider mine and they'll hang in place like a web until an enemy approaches, whereupon they'll start homing in on them.
Just a quick spot to recap the weekend, which turned out nicely pleasurable in that I got some good daughter-time in again. Saturday night the lil' tyke went to sleep at 11:30 because she had been napping until 8:30... and she was a tiny grizzly about the whole thing, too. I hate when her sleep schedule gets off...
Winkyboy 2.0 is kickin' his mama's tummy something fierce. Must be practicing some stompin' for the upcoming LAN party. :)
We went to some Russian friends' house on Sunday; they had a small get-together because a couple of their family became US citizens just recently. It was nice to see them, but like usual I can't follow along that long in an all-Russian environment. I just get sleepy when trying to listen in for so long! But instead I played with Winkygirl outside on the trampoline, and kicking the ball around the yard. She just loves when her papa plays or reads with her :) But oh, I shouldn't have shown her that "I've got your nose!" spiel... I think any parent might be able to relate.
Here's a little something that I've been working on for about two years now! Well, actually it's been sitting on my hard drive somewhere for about 23 months, and I've just recently picked them up again and dusted them off.
RattlesnakeBend is a remake of my final Badlands map (that missed the final cut for the last, complete upgrade for that mod, so I don't know if many people ever played it). The UT2004 version ups the scale of the map and tweaks a few points for style, the primary upgrade being the addition of my first-ever vehicle, the massively-impressive ;) canoe!
As it is, I know the map is very unbalanced and in my opinion the Outlaws side has a bit of an advantage... but then, they're also at a disadvantage if you look at it. I dunno - you tell me.
Naturally, like almost all of my releases I'm doing this when I should instead be fast, fast asleep, so please forgive me if I'm missing a file. I totally haven't tested this on a clean install, so I certainly could have missed something.
Download RattlesnakeBend for LawDogs
Download the wbCanoe
G'night!
MAN OH MAN OH MAN
This is so cool. I've got a canoe IN GAME. It's probably one of the most basic vehicles you could imagine, and it's using a default texture while based completely on CMAN's Viper code, and it has no weapons(!), but it works. Well, it needs a little tweaking as you can tell from the pictures - I have no clue why the driver is floating three feet above, plus I need to export it as a staticmesh so I can see the factory in the editor, but other than that, it does what a canoe should. And for that, I am a Happy Winkyboy.
People observe what goes on in the world, what goes on in America, and if they're of Christian persuasion they soon arrive at the question as to why YHWH would allow such horrible things to go on in the world. Namely, we see atrocities such as the 9/11 attacks, widespread school shootings, and all other sorts of crazy things. This is a question that is easy to answer, but the answer is simply one that is difficult to accept. It might be easier to understand if taken from a different perspective, however.
We as Christians are fairly knowledgeable that our God has the power to affect countries whichever way He pleases. It should go without arguing that He has the power to do whatever He pleases in any situation. We also readily accept that YHWH may very well punish some other heathen peoples for not observing His ways; He has done it all so many times throughout history and it makes perfect sense. Knowing this, would you move your family to one of these countries and expect YHWH to change that country just for you? Although it may be argued that as YHWH has watched over single families, even indeed specific individuals, in the midst of an ungodly nation, you would NOT purposefully tempt YHWH by knowingly placing your family in a troubled land.
On the other hand, what if that country moves to you? It's not as strange as it sounds; it is not the physical location of the country which YHWH is angered by, but the actions of the people who live within it. And in that light, if there were massive waves of immigration from a heathen country to a godly one, it can only be expected that the blessings or curses for the country will parallel the actions of the population. Would that the immigrants converted to the ways of the Godly, but sadly and more often it is the other way around.
As is and has been the case for America. The priests and rulers, and yes even the average family in America have long been following the ungodly, rather than the other way around. And it looks like there's no stopping it. The most cursory glance at the headlines today shows the following news:
In the article, "NYC Has Reason to Celebrate Gay Pride," on Yahoo.com we find the quote: "We are now more sure than ever that New York will do the equal and just thing," said Cathy Marino-Thomas, co-executive director of Marriage Equality New York, a group that promotes legalizing gay marriage.
The media is also pushing articles about the election, saying that even though Hillary Clinton (as she is now changing her name) is the most disliked candidate, she's also the most likely to win. This is insanity for Christians because she is easily one of the most anti-Christian candidates possible.
...
But this is the way it has been. When a country turns against YHWH, it becomes a vicious circle, and evil leaders take over thus driving the country further away. It's as if on the whole, a country has to be driven to destruction before it will return to Him.
In Nehemiah 9:34-37 we see a similar historical account: 34 Our kings, our leaders, our priests and our fathers did not follow your law; they did not pay attention to your commands or the warnings you gave them. 35 Even while they were in their kingdom, enjoying your great goodness to them in the spacious and fertile land you gave them, they did not serve you or turn from their evil ways. 36 "But see, we are slaves today, slaves in the land you gave our forefathers so they could eat its fruit and the other good things it produces. 37 Because of our sins, its abundant harvest goes to the kings you have placed over us. They rule over our bodies and our cattle as they please. We are in great distress.
The reasons for this distress are shown in Judges 3:4 4 They [the tyrannical rulers] were left to test the Israelites to see whether they would obey the LORD's commands, which he had given their forefathers through Moses.
It's all very simple, but people don't want to accept it because they believe they are not part of the problem. It's not an easy thing to accept, but we must realize our errors and turn to Him whenever possible.
It was the tiniest edit, but I actually got the UDE open and made a successful tweak to the SeaPack code, now! Awww, yeah. That's so good. I'm in the middle of a three-day conference (Flashbelt) so I'm away from the computer for the most part, lately, but I'm planning on getting back into the editing mode as I have time. And it seems to be happening more often because I've just got the editing bug again, I guess!
I also found a SCUBA gear that someone made, for AS-Abyss-Lite, an incredibly amazing assault map that I'm shocked and surprised that I missed. I'll have to contact the creator to see if I can include it - or at least parts of it which might make more sense(?) - in the SeaPack.
I want to create this SeaDoo Explorer as a main tool in playing any SeaPack level, because it really sucks to jump out of an exploding vehicle and find yourself floating in the middle of an ocean. More oft than not I just suicide and start over.
We had a LAN party this past weekend with 6-7 players attending. Gigglepuss tried to jump in online, but whether his kids got in the way or he just didn't have the right files, he kept bailing out. But overall it was pretty fun. We played a good lot of the SeaPack maps and my modified version of Xilver's BeachFront map was a solid favorite. It's such a nice, simple design - but his Fodder weapon really brought out the laughs. Quite a useful weapon, that! One of the edits that I did was to add a Dragonfly bomber to the arsenal, and it's essential once the other team starts flooding their beach with defenders.
This is two days ago now, but the Daughter just started jumping from the side of the pool into my arms. :) Previously she would only do so if she was actually holding on to my hands to begin with. A little more independence for her! Of course, guess what she wants to do now, every time we go swimming... the whole time we're there...? :P
So I'm making more maps for the SeaPack :) Frustratingly, I still can't get the bots to play moderately well. I hope UT3 is easier to code the AI. And a disclaimer: These new maps are still pirate edits of others' maps, so either I can't release them or have to wait for permission. I think the edits I'm making should be positively received, so cross your fingers.
I've gotten Xilver's map to a much nicer place, I think. I threw in more vehicles, and so cover on the beach and at sea, so that's cool. I've also noticed VCTF-BeforeTheStorm by MastaKilla and I think it'd make a fun SeaPack map. It's also got a new kind of jet embedded in the map! The jet is overpowered, so I'll see about tweaking it down, some, but otherwise I just need to add ocean space for the sea vehicles, raise the between-island bridges a little bit, and maybe throw some identifier landmarks. (The map feels a bit easy to get confused in, considering that nearly all the terrain looks the same.)
I like this tweaking-other-maps strategy because it quickly inflates the maplist... I've got a couple of really good ideas of my own, but finding the time is always the hard part, especially considering that I've got more important things that I NEED to be doing.
My daughter has taken to saying, "Ee ee" for things. No idea where this came from, and she doesn't do it all the time, but when locks in the mood, it's her favorite game. You ask her a question, and "ee ee" is all you get in return, eveb when she very well does know the words to say.
Thinking about vocabulary, we were also reading a Russian vocabulary book together, and I was so proud to see her flying through the pictures, identifying almost everything in both languages. I keep telling everyone that she can speak both Russian and English equally, fearing that because we do speak often in Russian in our house that it might not be so, but it's quite a relief to see her really quite bilingual. Amazingly intelligent.
We also found out this past week that the next little person joining our family will be a boy - so it turns out that Winkyboy 2.0 is on his way :) Now, this is really jumping the topic track a bit, or maybe it isn't - whatever. In raising a son, I have this strange worry that he's going to be interested in sports. Do sports-loving fathers worry their sons WON'T grow to love THEIR hobby? I find sports, on the average, insulting to my intelligence. Sure, good for the body if you aren't breaking any bones, but intelligently lacking nonetheless. I mean, it's the same thing over and over, almost exactly. How can that be interesting? But I suppose that's years off and up to himk, isn't it? Time will tell.
It feels good to stretch those muscles as I did this weekend. I pulled up the editor and started tweaking a VCTF map that Xilver had created. I don't know if he ever released it so I'll have to get in touch with him before I could possibly make it public, but besides adding a couple of vehicles from the SeaPack and adding the -SEA- prefix, the only thing I'm really trying to do is get the bots to work a little better. Lord, but I hope the AI is more easily implemented in UT3. It's every-so-frustrating to see them do their vehicle "jump" antics without end. So far, all I've managed to do is make it so that the blue team gets over to the red side, and disabled the opposite. yay. (But, I think I know how to fix it.)
Anyway, what I'd like to do is get the SeaPack in a nice, installable state so that people could actually use it. It's such a shame to have all these things sitting on my hard drive when people could be having fun with them. It's sad, how this happens to great games; a lot of the best maps, mutators, and mods get born just as the game is shelved for new arrivals.
We got a lot of daughter-time in this weekend; whether it was swimming in the neighborhood pool (which was kept amazingly warm - apparently last summer they didn't have the heaters running hardly at all) or playing with her at a park, she kept us busy. I absolutely love it how she takes "ownership" of the playground and invites us into her kitchen so she can cook spaghetti for us, or she retires to her bedroom to take a nap. Amazingly cute.
We had a near-horrible tumble at the roadside park, though; an old-style "safety" swing (one with a hard back and a chain for keeping the child in) tipped as she leaned forward while swinging back and she wound up upside-down and screaming/crying. Fortunately there were no bruises, but it was enough to send us home immediately.
I've been feeling terrible for a couple of days because I realized that my most recent edits (albeit "recent" is not an accurate term in this case) for the SeaPack appeared to be missing... gone, due to laziness or some horrible mishap. However, I found the source code and most-recent version, and have distilled the essential files into a single pack that can be installed on a fresh UT2004 without error. I went to sleep happy, last night.
I'll start tweaking things again - especially if I hear from people that there's still some kind of interest in this - and have an available download sometime soon. I'll be putting it in The Box for downloading, FYI.
From The Four Hour Work Week, "It is impossible to realize how distracting all the crap is -- whether porcelain dolls, sports cars, or ragged T-Shirts -- until you get rid of it."
Here's to that. Right offhand I can think of TOO MANY things I own that I could easily get rid of.
Well, not exactly TWO firsts, technically a second. So, last night, the daughter actually washed her own hair, with shampoo, and nary a single tear. This morning, she made it to the morning with a dry diaper and used the toilet all by herself. (The latter is the second occurrence; over a year ago, she had already used it, once, totally on purpose - but for some reason she never wanted to use it again until now.
This is really a draft:
4-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss, p 51
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Most people will never know what they want. I don't know what I want. If you ask me what I want to do in the next five months for language learning, on the other hand, I do know. It's a matter of specificity. "What do you want?" is too imprecise to produce a meaningful and actionable answer. Forget about it.
"What are your goals?" is similarly fated for confusion and guesswork. To rephrase the question, we need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Let's assume we have 10 goals and we achieve them - what is the desired outcome that makes all the effort worthwhile? The most common response is what I also would have suggested five years ago: happiness. I no longer believe this is a good answer. Happiness can be bought with a bottle of wine and has become ambiguous through overuse. There is more a precise alternative that reflects what I believe the actual objective is.
Bear with me. What is the opposite of happiness? Sadness? No. Just as love and hate are two sides of the same coin, so are happiness and sadness. Crying out of happiness is a perfect illustration of this. The opposite of love is indifference, and the opposite of happiness is - here's the clincher - boredom.
Excitement is the more practical synonym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase. It is the cure-all. When people suggest you follow your "passion" or your "bliss," I propose that they are, in fact, referring to the same singular concept: excitement.
This brings us full circle. The question isn't, "What do I want?" or "What are my goals?" but "What would excite me?"
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Timothy, like many an inspirational author, emphasizes that you have to overcome your fears to begin your journey toward personal satisfaction in life. The Bible says this, too, but it makes it even more clear and easy. It says to rely on the Lord and casts your worries to Him. This is easier because while self-help authors tell you that you can just "get over" being afraid, the Bible tells us that the Lord is waiting to actually TAKE your fears from you.
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Matthew 6:25-34 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Do Not Worry
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
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It's all well and good to read through this and tell yourself to really give your fears to God, but it DOES help a bit to have an example. Not to be outdone by the modern motivational author, the Bible is already there with one.
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Job 1
12 The LORD said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger."
Then Satan went out from the presence of the LORD.
13 One day when Job's sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, 14 a messenger came to Job and said, "The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were grazing nearby, 15 and the Sabeans attacked and carried them off. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"
16 While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, "The fire of God fell from the sky and burned up the sheep and the servants, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"
17 While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, "The Chaldeans formed three raiding parties and swept down on your camels and carried them off. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"
18 While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, 19 when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"
20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart. [c]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.
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No one wants to face such a drastic example as Job did, of course. And truly, nowadays people on average don't even have to think about the possibility of such a thing, for which we can thank God. But instead of disaster and disease, we are quite often faced with more insidious attacks against our lives, which goes so far as to affect our relationship with God: We risk the apathy that is cultivated by the unfulfilled life.
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Taking another page from the 4-Hour Work Week gives a story about Hans Keeling. He was twenty feet from the cliff edge, running full tilt towards it. His sneakers gripped firmly on the jagged rock, and he drove his chest forward toward 3,000 feet of nothing.
He held his breath on the final step, and the panic drove him to near unconsciousness. His vision blurred at the edges, closing to a single pinpoint of light, and then... he floated. The all-consuming celestial blue of the horizon hit his visual field an instant after he realized that the thermal updraft had caught him and the wings of the paraglider. Fear was behind him on the mountaintop, and thousands of feet above the resplendent green rain forest and pristine white beaches of Copacabana, he had seen the light.
That was Sunday.
On Monday, Hans returned to his law office in Century City, Los Angeles's posh corporate haven, and promptly handed in his three-week notice. For nearly five years, he had faced his alarm clock with the same dread: I have to do THIS for another 40-45 years? He had once slept under his desk at the office after a punishing half-done project, only to wake up and continue on it the next morning. That same morning, he had made himself a promise: two more times and I'm out of here. Strike number three came the day before he left for his Brazilian vacation.
We all make these promises to ourselves, and Hans had done it before as well, but things were now somehow different. He was different. He had realized something while arcing in slow circles toward the earth - risks weren't that scary once you took them. His colleagues told him what he expected to hear: He was throwing it all away. He was an attorney on his way to the top - what on earth did he WANT?
hans didn't know exactly what he wanted, but he had tasted it. On the other hand, he did know what bored him to tears, and he was done with it. No more passing days as the living dead, riding on the sugar high of a new BMW purchase until someone bought a more expensive Mercedes. It was over.
Immediately, a strange shift began - Hans felt, for the first time in a long time, at peace with himself and what he was doing. He had always been terrified of plane turbulence, as if he might die with the best inside of him, but now he could fly through a violent storm sleeping like a baby. Strange indeed.
More than a year later, he was still getting unsolicited job offers from law firms, but by then had started Nexus Surf, a premier surf-adventure company based in the tropical paradise of Florianopolis, Brazil. He had met his dream girl, and spent most of his time relaxing under palm trees or treating clients ot the best times of their lives.
Is this what he had been so afraid of?
These days, he often sees his former self in the underjoyed and overworked professionals he takes out on the waves. Waiting for the swell, the true emotions come out: "I wish I could do what you do," they say. His reply is always the same: "You can."
The setting sun reflects off the surface of the water, providing a Zen-like setting for a message he knows is true: It's not giving up to put your current path on indefinite pause. He could pick up his law career exactly where he left off if he wanted to, but that is the furthest thing from his mind.
As they paddle back to shore after an awesome session, his clients get a hold of themselves and regain their composure. They set foot on shore, and reality sinks its fangs in: "I would, but I can't really throw it all away."
He has to laugh.
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The Bible is really the first and best motivational book; in it we find instruction for becoming the best person we can be; the one that would please God. It tells us to trust Him and fear not. It gives us all the reason we need to do the things we need. But it also proves that the life we want will not come without work.
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Ecclesiastes 9
5...the dead know nothing;
they have no further reward,
and even the memory of them is forgotten.
6 Their love, their hate
and their jealousy have long since vanished;
never again will they have a part
in anything that happens under the sun.
7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. 8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, [c] where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
More from the 4-Hour Work Week:
List up to five things you dream of having:
1. A house. Paid off.
2. A fully electric car that has the power to replace a regular car, paid off.
3. Organic Coffee shop. Owned, managed hands -off
4. Wind turbines and solar panels for the house (Also Debt Free)
5. Top-of-the line video card with projector and game- runner treadmill for exercise routine
And, up to five things you wish to be:
1. Well-versed in Bible topics
2. Finish my Russian so that I'm really fluent. Other languages: Spanish, German, Japanese, Chinese
3. Physically fit
4. A great husband & father
5. Able to coach others on heathy living
Up to five things you wish to do :
1. Re-establish my education newsletter
2. Actually help out with the Ron Paul presidential candidacy, or get involved in politics in general
3. Visit all my relatives
4. Establish an exercise routine of at least One hour each day
5. Take an extended vacation in Hawaii
6. Bring my game idea to life
This is based on part of the Four Hour Work Week book that I am reading:
Well, let's see... First off, I'd like a life where I can put my family first before everything except God, one where I can do things for or with them without regard to the time or day, yet still have personal time left over to work on the hobbies that interest me, such as creating games, playing piano, or excercising. Mind you, in an ideal world the excercise would be combined with the games.
Something is obviously keeping me from such an existence, otherwise I wouldn't be off to work more often than not; this time would be spent on the Daughter and the Wife. Work is not what's perventing me. As it is the stopgap solution that allows me to pay the bills and continue existence as I know it. So, if I didn't have bills would I be able to do all thr things I want? Essentially. Whether it is retroactive bills that support the purchases I have already made, or future purchases that reduce what income I have, I am inarguably living paycheck to paycheck, storing up for a future for which I don't possess a vision. I'm just forging blimdly ahead.
The house I "own" is a MAJOR block that ties me down, after which comes the car I still owe on. I think it would be fairly safe to say that if I didn't have those monthly payments to make, I could easily afford whatever life I so desired, for I do NOT desire a life of extravagant riches but only one of time and convenience.
Being "responsible" is what led me to buy this house, and I think that is what is really holding me back. When it is profitable to sell it, then, I shall invesigate what I can do to remedy the situation.
This was supposed to have been posted yesterday, or day before... Blogger didn't take my email, for some reason.
I bought the book yesterday and have gotten about 65 pages into it. As with most inspirational books, it is motivating, but I already sense that the author is saying,"cheat whenever you can get away with it" with the rationale that that is what the "New Rich" do to get ahead.
And technically, he also isn't so much cheating as he is bending the rules like wet noodles. Case in point, the author is very proud that he won the Chines(?) national kickboxing championship by consistently pushing opponents three classes his size out of the ring (having attained a class three sizes smaller by dehydrating for weigh-in, and re-hydrating before the fight.)
He essentially is telling us that by the rules, it's not cheating if you can attain the same results in a fraction of the time by doing things differently. I'm not done with the book yet but I'll drop back in here when I am.
Blaster Master 2 sucks. If you ever heard anyone saying anything good about this game, they were either a shill or they made the game themselves. This game takes everything that was good about the 8-bit original and poops on it.
To provide a comparison, I've played and beaten the first game at least four times - and the most recent time I played it, I found myself thinking, "God, but I love this game!" Part two has me thinking, "why am I still playing this?!"
The first had intricate level design, well thought-out enemies, USEFUL powerups, music so good you could play on your stereo (yeah, I grew up in the 80's) repeatedly, and most of all you wanted to keep going just to get past the next boss, just to get the next powerup, just a little bit more.
The second has straightforward levels from which there is NO deviation. You find the locked door, continue on, exit the car and kill a boss to get the key - sorry, powerup - return to the door, and keep going. The powerups pretty much only serve as keys, seriously. The only "useful" powerup is the very first one, which really only takes your rate of fire from "annoying" to "regular".
The controls are pure agony. While driving the car, you find yourself BOUNCING off of the walls in an uncontrollable manner, and while walking you can jump like 70 feet in the air - but if you land slightly further down, say on a slight hill, from where you started, you take damage.
The music is nothing but an INSULT. Whiny, extremely repetitive crap that you wouldn't have heard on an 8-bit game. Well, you would have, but it would have been just as forgettable.
Why am I putting up with it? Ugh, I don't know - I've played pretty much every Blaster Master game out there (I think I didn't try one of the Gameboy games), but seriously, the only good one is the first one. Sunsoft, why did you let this slip from your control?
I'll go pine, now.
Who did this? Whoever it was, I thank you. Strangelove is a mutator for UT2004 that changes the game so that you can ride/drive the redeemer missile, a la the movie Dr. Strangelove. This mutator somehow appeared after the peak of UT99, and has appeared again for UT2004 sometime after IT'S peak. I only noticed it now.
Mind you, someone had already begun programming it long ago, but they dropped off around "version 5.5" which was really an unplayable version. MENTION CLAN
This is perfect timing because in another month, I expect to be flying around the Giant Bedroom board launching nukes at will. Yeeeeeaaaaahaaaaaaahhhhh!
This is a public service message: Do not install StuffIt for Windows. It will probably screw up your right-click context menu. Thank you.
Not so much that I've been using Zpeech very heavily since last I talked about it, but it's on my mind again this morning. Because it's so close to being relly. Really useful. Again. The main problem with it is that it's not much more than a glorified chat attached to your page. It lacks many of the features that make a forum/message board really useful.
It should have some way of allowing the site owner some way of organizing and/or moderating the content. This would be to encourage the use of the board BY the site owner. For example, I would be willing to forego the forum on my winkboy site in favor of Zpeech, creating a dedicated page for it, even. But I can't section out the discussuons as they are now.
It would even be acceptable if it was self-moderated somehow, allowing users to create forum sections, such as "new product," "technical support," or "product review." But to my knowledge this does not exist.
I have to double-check, but I don't even think it has search capabilties, or email post-back reminders, or buddy lists, or any of the other well-established forum functions.
I'm going to write Zpeech and see what they have to say about all of this.
Read more...So, a pretty good weekend. Nothing, task-wise, was majorly accomplished, but I got a little bit of web work finished and now the direct family knows about the Baby. That reminds me that its probably time to send word out to the extended family, too. Only my one cousin knows about this blog so far, and I doubt if it's on her daily read list, as I'm pretty sure she has her hands full at the time being.
We had our regular family meeting on Saturday, although it was kind of a staggered approach, with bits of the family arriving and leaving at individual times, and not e veryone able to make it. I'm still glad were able to have the meetings, though. It's fantastic to be able to stay close to one's family - I can't imagine what it's like to be, I assume, like most of the country where families are spread across state and nation as soon as the children reach college age.
I was mostly out of it, Saturday afternoon, considering I had stayed up so late, so I crashed after everyone had finally left. The next day we went to see the Parents and, well, almost everyone else again, as we'd promised the Daughter she could go see the baby chicks and the horses. When we returned home, it was a little family time, a little work time, and then finally another late night crash into bed.
Heroes tonight!
Read more...We went to the Olive Garden this weekend and before we did, I called them to see how long the wait would be. To find their number, I started out on Google Maps trying to "find a business" in my area. Muchy to my disappointment, our local Garden was not apparently in Google's database.
It's sad, really, because if Google Maps was up-to-date with all the business listings, it really could be used to replace another common web site element; store locators. Businesses could, from what I know of Google's API, take care of this themselves, so they wouldn't really have to PROGRAM much to have a store locator, but that doesn't spearate the functionality from the site itself.
I'm still talking about a problem that I feel is pervasive in the internet, today: a lack of standards. When you pick up a book, it doesn't take you five minutes every time you open it to figure out where you should go to start reading it. In like manner it shouldn't take you any time at all trying to hunt down the contact page for a company's website, nor the store locator, or anything else.
Sure, this flies in the face of all the agencies that create websites, today, including the one I work for, but they're part of the problem, not the solution. Stop making things different for every single site out there! Yes, that's great that you can make a pretty site. Now, stop it, and give us some real user functionality.
Read more...While fortunately I am re-establishing my summer routine of biking to get to thye bus stop, thus coming about forty mintues of exercise into my daily routine and allowing me that mcu more time in the evening for other endeavors, it is frustrating ho quickly the free time disappears each day.
I was up until 2:00 AM last night - or this morning - because I resent being essentially alloted only four hours a day for my own purposes. That, of course, is a vague approximation because it's probably a lot less than that once you factor in dinner time, chores, and most important of all, time with the wife and family.
It's not that I'm blaming work - the desk job - because frankly it's pleasant to work with the people I do and in the business I do (although I never hide the fact that I would always prefer to make games, of course). I'm just thrashing against the way the world works for most of us; we're forced to be apart from our families and away from home in order to get by.
Last night, and this is somewhat an average occurance, I got home at six, and by the time I had unwound and finished dinner, it was about seven o'clock. We drove to the grocery store, library, and video store and it was just after eight when we were done. We put things away, poured some tea, and put the little one to bed, and another hour had disappeared. After that my wife went to bed, herself, and I tinkered around with the computers, as I'm still setting up those new ones properly. Well, okay, they are good enough to go, but stickler as I am, I want them just right.
Like I said before, it was 2:00 before I finally went to sleep. All these modern conveniences and it's still like it's always been.
Continuing the thought process from a couple of days ago, websites need to do away with another common, repetitive element: registration. Back when I learned to appreciate the ability to customize the interface of an application to my liking, I forgave the internet in general for the tedious task of having to enter YET AGAIN my first name, last name, email address, and so on. But enough is enough because there is a better way on the horizon.
Microsoft had the right idea back when they came up with their Passport sign-in, and they have a relatively user-friendly approach, but their shortcoming is, I believe, that people don't want to trust Microsoft with their global registration. I did read early on that there is apparently too many hoops to jump through for developers to look to adopting it easily, as well.
But the concept remains sound; I want to have only one registration for all my websites, and the Open ID is what will make that possible. It is "an open, decentralized, free framework for user-centric digital identity". It's note quite ready for prime time, but considering that it's being adopted by big names such as Digg, it soon will be. Check out O'Reilly's pros and cons of the system.
I'm currently finding myself in possession of four useful computers, although that really seems like one more than I actually need. My wife's computer was just so old that it was barely tolerable anymore so I had been buying parts here and there in preparation of replacing it with a shiny, fast one. That plan had almost come to a head when my laptop up and died, so I was looking all of a sudden at being without. I placed an order for the remaining pieces of the new computer, thinking then just to use the new one for myself, but then after trying to use my wife's computer again, I found hers unbearable - so I found a very great deal on a refurbished HP.
I finished building the new computer - which was an absolutely pleasant experience, and I would love to do it again sometimes - and the following weekend, my brother tore our two laptops apart and did a Frankenstein job to resurrect mine. (His was entirely dead due to the trashed processor) So, the laptop reborn, I feel a little wasteful in possession of these four, very nice computers.
I'm planning on reformatting the laptop now, sometime when I have the chance, because I have learned that setting up a new computer is a lot easier than it once was.
GOOGLE SAYS, "I LOVE YOU"
It's impressive to me how much Microsoft product complicate the setup of a new computer. I know of no other company whose installations take longer than theirs, excluding of course, the hotfixes and patches of the operating system itself. I always hated how long it took to install Office, and I resent how it embeds itself by default into the system, by setting up things like the quick loader, adding "create new office document" shortcuts in the context menu, and so forth. It's just a freaking word processor, Microsoft! Stop complicating it
So when I start reinstalling things, I find that the Google toolbar has an option - and indeed prompted me itself, once - for making it possible to double-click on Doc and Xls files to have them open in Google Docs automatically. That is hella sweet (thanks, Gigglepuss, for the slang flashcards...)! Screw office! It dawned on me that most companies actually create products for themselves, but Google creates products for their customers.
Continuing the Office example, I am still currently stuck with the slight possibility of having to install Outlook, to which I give a huge shudder. The problem is that my wife and I each have pocket PCs, and for some twisted reaon, the PIM information only synchs through ActiveSync with Outlook... for a little while yet: In a very exciting move, Mozilla is on the verge of releasing Thunderbird 2.0. I have installed the release candidate and am thoroughly impressed with the Gmail integration. From the moment you install it, it's primed just to hook right ujp to your Gmail account with just the right settings so thbat it acts as if Outlook had merged with Gmail (but only in a good way).
Messages sent through Thunderbird appear in your online Gmail sent folder, tag and star support is right there in the interface, emails are set to remain on the server, period - unless you feel like changing it. The only possible flaw I saw was that if I read an email in one program, it didn't mark it as read in the other, but that's a very minor inconvenience.
To bring the discussion back to the issue of synchronizing the PDA, there is an extension for Thunderbird called BirdieSync that will take care of email, contacts, calendar, and task synchronization, but they don't yet support Thunderbird 2.0. I'm sure they will, as soon as it's released*, and when they do, mwahahah... (Note, BirdieSync is not a free/opensource product, but as it is the best option available, I would certainly buy it, to get away from Outlook). The FINAL final key will be when, somehow, we're able to (automatically) synchronize our contacts from PDA to Gmail, but for now manual import/export will have to do.
*Note: Thunderbird 2.0 is released!
THE OPEN SOURCE WORLD
In addition to Google's offerings, I also find a wide array of fantastic open source software that is faster and easier than their commercial competitors. Just as Office feels and acts bloated, Adobe's Acrobat Reader is one of the more-annoying pieces of software that people usually have to put up with. DON'T put up with it! Go install Foxit. What can I say about this except that it is everything that a PDF reader should be. Small and Fast. The end.
Real Alternative and Quicktime Alternative are now standards on all of my systems. RealAudio and QuickTime are two of the other prime offenders regarding software bloat / annoyances, and we shouldn't have to put up with it.
Go use 7-Zip for your compression needs, but remember that for this one you need to launch the program and manually associate .zip files with it by changing the options.
Get AVGFree for your virus scanning; as the name implies it's free, and it's actually one of the better-rated scanners out there.
Open source software is finally establishing itself as the preferred choice of software, and now it's just that the word has to get out there. Perhaps I'll try to install Ubuntu on my wife's old system. It still runs, anyway, and it'd be a fine playground for testing the entire OS out (even though as I understand you don't even need to install it, in order to test it; running it from a CD, I guess, is possible.)
Here's to a more user-friendly and open source future!
It's really awesome. She holds entirely huge conversations with us now, and only at 2.5 years old. It's surprising the complexity of words that she already uses, and how she seems to easily switch back and forth between Russian and English. As you can tell, my pride level is turned up high with her. What's really cute is when she doesn't know something exactly, she responds, in Russian, "I dunno. thpp," finishing off with a cute little raspberry. It makes me want to laugh every time, but I can't because she says it with all seriousness.
Last night once I got home, she insisted that I take my shoes and socks off and hop in her "bathtub," which is really just her toybox, so that she could wash my feet, hands, and hair. Washing, this time, consisted of rubbing a plastic refrigerator magnet on my feet/hands/head as soap, and then pouring imaginary water from a woven basket on me. Hilarious. Of course, then it was her turn and I had to give her the bath. Where does she come up with these things? I'm not sure, but she DOES seem to have a fixation with the imaginary bath probably because she seems to have such a fear of actually getting her hair washed. Perhaps by cleaning herself via imagination, she figures she can put off the real thing that much longer!
Later, we read some books together and she really ate them right up.
While naturally people love free eBooks the best, we should realize that harpers need to be paid for their tales, or there won't be very many tales told. EBooks are better than print books for a large number of reasons; If you feel you need a hardcopy of the book you're reading, it's probably because that feeling has been learned by a lifetime of reading in such a method. However, for now I'm just going to dump the why's and what's of the eBook (since DownloadSquad has already done that) and just list the resources, so I don't forget them later:
Compiled by FriedBeef:
I'm rather tired as I write this, but I want to just log that I really appreciate the chance to learn more in detail about our new client. I think it's safe to drop names; the client is Nestle. Now, while I'm always going to be one who by default will prefer the other choice than the major corporate entity, I have to admit that after our training today, I think Nestle is extremely concerned, adamant even, about the privacy and desires of its consumers. We had a CRM training class today that outlined their standard data collection procedures this morning and the our presenter was filled with a figurative fire about the lengths they would go to obey the privacy wishes of their consumers. Corporate they may be, but it is still good to see the human element retained within the company.
7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
It's easy to read this and not understand why some prayers seem to go unanswered, but if you think along those lines, then you are not considering related verses such as:
If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. (John 15:7-8)
Evidence such as this proves that some prayers shouldn't be said; some prayers are the fruit of our human desires and unjust longings. Our God says that you will receive when you ask - but only when He is within you. If His words are in you, are first and foremost amongst your thoughts, then the types of prayers that will come out of you are also going to be of His words. We must fill ourselves with His holy spirit as we attend to the Bible in regular, daily study.
God wants to see you filled with the honest desire to reach for Him. Leading into study with prayer, exiting from it in like manner, letting each footstep taken be towards Him. Pray as David did in the Psalms, "Open my eyes so that I may see wonderful things in Your law." Try to consider the Word of God as literally MORE IMPORTANT than daily food. It's THAT important. (On a side note, I found it quite interesting once to try a single-day fast of only water just for the sake of observing what an effect it would have, and I found myself thinking quite a number of times how much more I appreciated God's watchful eye over me, providing for me whenever I need it.) Like Job, our natural desire for God's word should be more than for physical food, "I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread." (Job 23:12)
I'm going to try something over the course of this next week, and I propose you each find some way of doing a similar test - that is, if you are not already incorporating the Bible into your daily life. I've found that I really enjoy taking the bus into work for the half-hour or so of "me time" it provides. However, that time is often translated into playing a video game on the PSP or watching a movie on my cell phone. Sure, it's a lot of fun - I love video games - but in the end it's not the games or movies that matter, is it? I pledge to use this time next week to study the Bible, and to take note of how each day seems to unfold. I expect things will probably feel more fulfilling, and it will feel like there's more time in each day.
Smoking 2.0: Smoke Free, Tar Free, Battery Powered = Healthy? - Medgadget - www.medgadget.com
An interesting new alternative to the standard, tar-your-lungs smoke stick (cigarette), the NicStic vaporizes nicotine instead of burning it. The user still has a little stick in their hand, and it does produce a new odor apparently unpleasant even to smokers, but on the other hand there is no smoke. So, theoretically it's acceptable for use indoors.
My thoughts: I'm not so sure it would go over well with non-smokers who would have to share space with a user of the NicStic, so this too would probably be shunned to the outdoor realm - but considering that there is indeed no smoke to fill one's lungs, I'd respect a user of these quite a bit more than a regular smoker. At least they're not killing themselves - and others - with their habit.
Someone recently asked me whether I liked a popular, brand-name soymilk. I don't drink Soymilk anymore because of the controversy that soy causes. Yeah, I know soy is still in a lot of foods, especially those little protein bars (the ones that taste like candy bars and claim to be good for you), but that's beside the point. Check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soy#Soy_controversy
We had a close call last night with Leia. While having dinner at a friend's house, as it was our friend's birthday and she likes to cook for people (she likes it too much, to the point of feeding you when you're not hungry.), our little girl was crawling under the table just as our host was sitting down. I guess her chair tipped back enough for Leia's hand to slip under and she came down on Leia's wrist.
It was a little weird; she didn't cry for a good while, so I wasn't sure anything had really happened, although I certainly felt it had. It really didn't look good, and she wouldn't let us get any cold compress on it, what with the way she whipped it about. Eventually, I took her to the bathroom to run some cold water over it, hoping obviously to keep the swelling down. We still didn't know at this point whether anything had been broken, really, but it was starting to be obvious by the way she moved it all around that it was fine.
A few minutes later, she was again playing in the living room, and if anyone asked her how her owie was, she replied, "Nope. We washed the owie away!"
As noted on this Shoutwire article, the Bratz dolls are unfortunately popular with many a young girl. I vaguely remember first seeing these dolls in the toy section of either Wal-mart or Target, thinking to myself that I'd just seen yet another product with a flash-in-the-pan shelf life. I truly wish I'd been right, but I suppose the cutesy, big-eyed, cartoon look of the dolls coupled with the risque and revealing attire simply calls out the typical Western consumer nowadays.
It all echoes back to the Biblical admonition, "raise up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it." What do you want your children, in this case your daughters, to be when they are adults? Are you raising her to be a God-fearing, respectable woman, or for lack of any nicer way of saying it, a slut?
This topic crosses over into the realm of politics since essentially the makers of the Bratz dolls are cultivating an environment that is appealing to pedophiles, considering that not only do they dress these toys up with sex appeal, but they sell the identical clothing and accessories to real, live girls. There are laws against this kind if thing, I believe, and it amazes me that somehow MGA slips entirely past them all.
We've had a crowded house here for a while, now, although crowded doesn't really describe it very well because this house is, thankfully, a pretty spacious one. Today, however, my wife's mother and grandmother are heading home, flying back to Ukraine. I have mixed feelings about it. First and foremost, and I suspect understandably, I look forward to it. My patience and ability to withstand a situation such as living with one's relatives, be they in-laws or not, is -- and perhaps I say it with an air of conceitedness -- a bit stronger than most. But I'm a pretty laid-back type of personality; not much bothers me as Psalm 5:22 helps me get to sleep at night. But getting back to the original point, it will be nice to have the house alone to our family, for once. It hasn't been just us since just before our daughter was born, so yeah - I look forward to it.
On the other hand, however, I don't envy them the trip they have to take nor the time they'll spend again in Ukraine. While certainly a worthwhile country to visit once or twice, it is - in my opinion - certainly not a comfortable place to make a home in. But I won't turn this into a rant against living conditions in Ukraine. It's just difficult to live there, and they'll be apart from (pretty much) their only family in the world. I wish there were viable alternatives. Ideally, I wish they could stay in America, yet in their own apartment that's not too close, but not too far.
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